Kinky philosophy for vanilla sex.

Via tumblr  happybdsm , which is awesome [Oh jeez it's been too long. I don't even have a good excuse this time.  The dog ate my blo...

Orientation speech.

[Oh God it's been too long since I last posted.  I meant to!  But then I moved into a new house!  It's not far from the old one but ...

Why have sex?

Rowdy and I had another little  relationship summit last night.  We're trying to make it a monthly thing.  It's quickly gone from ...

Five Things You Might Not Know About Contraception.

Contraception's been in the news lately.  Which is so weird .  I mean, it's the 21st century!  We have iPhones and robotic surgery a...

Rescripting sex.

Life has scripts.  Little socially-agreed plays that we enact rather than trying to figure out all our interactions from scratch every time....

Consent culture.

Today I'm going to fulfill a promise I made quite a while ago , and talk about what a consent culture would look like. A consent culture...

A sex lesson from a cat.

You can learn an important lesson about sex by petting a cat. Oh God, no, not like that!   Pet the cat's head!   This is metaphorical! T...

What do you want?

[Finals are over!  WHEEE!  Big serious essay today!  Cosmocking next!] I talk a lot on this blog about how sex should be dictated by what th...

How to Buttsex Someone Up But Good.

You want a buttsex post?  I'll give  you a buttsex post!  I'll give it to you right up your... Internet connection! How to Buttsex S...

Beyond not rape.

Everyone (well, everyone cool) agrees that consent is the  most important thing in sexual activities.  It's the difference between haras...

How to not be creepy.

My name is Holly Pervocracy, and I used to be a creep. Not the worst kind of creep; I was certainly never dangerous , and it wasn't to t...

Sex anyway.

2005: I have sex with a guy, and it's miserably futile; try as I might, I just can't get him off. I keep going, sinking into desper...

"I don't know."

I've talked a lot before about the need for communication in BDSM and in relationships in general, but for the longest time I had troubl...

Getting into BDSM Part 3: Safety.

[Repost; original post was eaten in Blogger crash.] BDSM is not, in itself, super mega dangerous. It's like any contact sport--there...

Getting into BDSM Part 2: Your First Play Party.

I went to a party last night. Hung out with Rowdy and Sprite and a whole lot of nice folks we know, naked wrestled with another woman for a...

Cueing.

Cosmo tells me not to "bark orders like a drill sergeant," ("DROP AND GIVE ME FIFTY THRUSTS! HOOAHH!"), but I think one...

How to get into BDSM (the short version).

So many negative posts lately! This is what happens when I don't get laid for an entire week. (Yes, yes, world's tiniest violin. ...