Cosmocking: July '10! - Part 1!

White cover! We just had a white cover in April, I'll never figure these things out! Shakira, wearing a doily! Seriously, the top isn't just "lacy", it's a giant piece of lace! Best cover story: "Vaginas Under Attack!" Least likely-to-be-accurately-titled cover story: "99 New Sex Facts!"

Invented by a Harvard engineer and sold at LeWhif.com for about $2 each, new inhalers deliver java- or chocolate-flavored air to curb cravings sans calories.
Yeah, because my problem with coffee is all those calories. And seriously, I can't imagine being so miserably self-denying that flavored air seemed like a good idea. I would rather eat a small piece of strong chocolate and let those ~20 calories go straight to my thighs than resort to ridiculous rock-soup solutions.

Why More Girls Are Kissing Girls
"I kissed a girl... and I liked it!" When Katy Perry's infamous ode to the girl crush first rocked the airwaves two years ago, it felt ballsy--shocking, even. Now? Eh.
No, Cosmo, lesbians and bisexuals were not invented just last week. (Fake bisexuals-for-attention neither.) It's long been obvious that the kink community and feminist movement do not exist in the Cosmo universe, but it's a little weird to find out that they didn't even know about gay people.

Run a bath or cozy up on the couch with a glass of wine, and try imagining yourself in a relationship with someone of the same sex. If you can picture it clearly, you may have more than a girl crush.
"Like OMG Becky I totally took Cosmo's advice and now I'm like totally into being bisexual now, OMG!"

10 Reasons We're Still Obsessed with R-Patz
1. We're aware a lot of our readership is thirteen years old.
2. Or emotionally thirteen years old.
3. We always wanted a hundred-year-old murderer to stalk us.
4. But not fuck us.
5. SPARKLES!
6. EYEBROWS!
7. PALLOR!
8. BIG HAIR!
9. We think he probably has a penis, presumably.
10. We have to be obsessed with a male celebrity at all times, and he seemed as good as any.

Don't wait to feel turned on before you make a move. Most women experience arousal after the fun has already begun.
So, uh, when should I initiate sex, if I can't trust my own feelings and plan to inflict a "well, you'll like it once it's happening, baby" on myself? At total random? Since I actually do experience sexual desire, can I ignore this, or do I still need to force myself into sex with a bone-dry pussy and hope for the best?

The average number of sexual partners for heterosexual men is 7; for heterosexual women, it's 4.
No, that's the average number self-reported by these groups. It could conceivably be the median (although that's unlikely), but I can very much guarantee you that on average, men fuck women exactly as often as women fuck men.

A fetus responds to Mom getting it on: It can sense blood-pressure and heart-rate changes, and it feels nonsexual excitement.
I'm pretty sure they threw the "nonsexual" in there just so it wouldn't be weird or anything.

The "sexual pursuit" part of a man's brain is two-and-a-half times bigger than a woman's.
Ah yes, the clearly delineated, sole-purpose, and well-understood "sexual pursuit" lobe. Stands out like a neon sign in any dissection.

Giving him a massage may get you excited. Fingertips and pads are the most sensitive parts of your skin.
I don't know about that; I don't think I'd take it nearly as well in stride if I opened an envelope wrong and got a papercut on my clitoris.

That glazed look a man gets when he sees breasts? His visual brain circuits are on the lookout for signs of fertility.
That conscious look a man gets when his eyes are open? His visual brain circuits are processing visual information.

Keep a glass of ice water on the bedstand, and once you've both climaxed, take a drink, holding and swirling the cool liquid in your mouth before swallowing. Then immediately envelop his balls with your lips, one at a time.
I don't even have balls, and I just felt them jump about two feet up into my stomach.

[Q: My boyfriend has a foot fetish. I'm okay with that. Somehow this is a question, rather than just a statement.]
A: Your guy's preference is only a concern if he can't get an erection without foot-play. If that's the case, he'll need to see a therapist.
Why? Why is that the dividing line? It's okay to have a fetish, as long as you're still able to be "normal"--but if you actually need your fetish, then it's no good any more? The guy likes feet, he dates women who let him play with their feet, and all is well in the world; no therapy required.

"Doctor, doctor, I can't get a boner unless I do this!" "Then do that."



There's more, but I have to sleep; more later.