Objects of lust.

Today is Buy A Sex Toy Day!

I've done bad sex toy mockeries a couple times, so here are some sex toys that sound awesome and that I would love to have.

Posey Restraints
These are the restraints that are used in actual psychiatric hospitals these days, and as such have tremendous cachet. They're also very inescapable, very comfortable, and I think nylon webbing is a cool material and tragically underused in the kink world.

Rock Chick
I want this pretty bad. It's the only insertable I've seen that seems perfectly designed for the way I really masturbate--I don't thrust, I grind, I want things to stay inside me and just wiggle around in there while I rub my clit, and the Rock Chick seems like it would work very very well with my methods.

Rechargeable Impulse Jack Rabbit
I've never tried a rabbit vibrator, and this seems like a regrettable oversight. The idea of the rotary bits churning around inside me seems... promising. (Although I do worry how strong the motor is, because I can clamp down hard--if I can easily stop it with my hand, I don't think it would have a chance against my vagina.) And this one has cool metal-and-orange styling and it has the rechargeable base, which are awesome.

Jaguar Harness
My current strap-on harness is a piece of crap. I don't use it that much, but still, it's embarrassing--it's cheesy "leatherette," doesn't fit well, and doesn't hold a dildo really rocksteady. This harness has none of those problems. It's elegantly sexy, comes in a color other than black (I really love non-black leather and wish black wasn't quite such a universal default for everything kinky), and it looks built for action.

Tsunami Helix Glass Dildo
Another "I never" for me: glass dildos. They're so pretty! And so... unforgiving. I mentioned having a strong vagina? I couldn't be stronger than a hard toy--it would just have its way with me.

Njoy Fun Wand
It's metal. It's big. It's got different shapes on both ends that could do a lot of things. Like a lot. I want it.

Anal Joystick
Okay, embarrassing name, but look at that handle.

nJoy Pure Plug
Man, I started lusting for cold hard toys and now I can't stop thinking about them. But the appealing thing about this plug is that it looks like it would stay in. I have Pelvic Muscles of Doom and tend to shove out mere mortal dildos and plugs when I come, but I'm pretty sure this puppy isn't going anywhere.

Wartenberg Pinwheel
These are so cheap and feel so cool, why don't I own one already? They're capable of such an amazing range of sensations, from a breath-catching little tease to full-on pain like being cut.

Electrosex Silicone Vibrator All-in-One Unit
I'm very curious what non-shocky e-stim is like, and I've heard amazing things, but I've never had the chance to try it with insertables. There's a baffling array of options if you really want to get into different power boxes and accessories, but since I'm neither a millionaire nor an electrical engineer, the all-in-one unit seems very appealing.

Tex Silicone Dildo
Sometimes, man, sometimes I just want a cock.