Masturbashame.

It's been a few weeks since I had partnered sex, and a loooong time since I've been in a real relationship. But of course I masturbate like a crazy monkey about twice a day. I'm not sure how to feel about this. (Well, besides mellow and a little sleepy. Ahh.) On the one hand, the Unwritten Laws of Sex say that masturbating when you can't get laid is pathetic. But on the other hand, I'm a girl, and the ULoS say that a girl masturbating is hot. And on the third hand which is a little busy right now, it would be downright weird (by the ULoS) to not get laid and not masturbate.

Of course sex-positivity and common sense would tell me that there's nothing wrong with masturbating, but I can't trust those, because they're too nice. It's like a compliment from Grandma, it's very sweet but it's not useful feedback. Something inside me can only really trust a personal philosophy that isn't afraid to humiliate me and create unreasonable and sexist expectations.

Ultimately, I'm unsure whether to treat masturbation as a valid part of my sex life, as an uninteresting bodily function, or as a dark secret shame. I don't know whether I should be telling hot sexy masturbation stories on here, or pretending that I would never sink so low.

Most of the time, though, I feel like masturbation is separate from sex. Having sex doesn't fulfill my drive to masturbate or vice versa, and they feel very different. They don't even affect me the same way physiologically--when I have sex I'm multi-orgasmic and energized, and when I masturbate I'm mono-orgasmic and get very sleepy. So I guess it's silly to worry if I'm "substituting" for sex when it's not that much like sex at all.