Disaster Averted.

I didn't say anything about my appearance (which wasn't that bad, I was able to cover the leg bruises and the shoulder bruises are starting to fade) and no one else said anything either.

Five minutes into the hike--which turned out to be more of a climb--I was so covered in mud and new bruises that no one could possibly tell anyway.

Good time though. It's a risky habit and it damages your body, but if some weirdo is into that sort of thing, well, I guess they're not hurting anyone who didn't ask for it.