Is it possible to have the same sex and still enjoy it? Can you do it with no novelty in technique or dynamics and get anything out of it?
I'm asking because my unconscious answer seems to be "no." I'm on a treadmill (or, less generously, a slippery slope) of sexual acts. If I was spanked last week, this week I want to be beaten. And the next week horsewhipped. Which will lead me, in about two months, to "We haven't tried disembowelment-play yet, honey..." (Everything is okay if you follow it with "-play.")
I have an iota of common sense, so that won't literally happen, although I may go further in the direction of disgusting and degrading than is good for me. What will happen is that I'll hit the wall. I'll get to the point where I've exhausted the possibilities and I can't have sex that I haven't had before.
Then I'm going to have to do one of two things (probably a bit of both, actually):
1) Learn to enjoy things besides novelty. There's phsyical pleasure and intimacy and you don't build up a tolerance to those. The seventy-eighth time you see a man's eyes roll up into his head and feel his muscles inside and out of you tighten and throb for an instant before exploding into orgasm is just as good as... not the first, maybe, but just as good as the third or fourth, and that's still pretty damn good.
2) Realiize that you can't cross the same river twice. The gross mechanics may be the same, but the fine details and the mental/emotional trappings never are. The moments never repeat. "I gave him oral?" Been there three hundred times.
But:
"I looked up and saw his eyes had been locked on mine. I also saw he was starting to lose his balance. I carried him down to the floor with me and as I got back into my rhythm of breaths and thrusts he seized my ass and pulled my cunt over his mouth..." That kind of thing is new every time.
There's a well-known sex/BDSM club with a relatively low skeeve factor in town and I've visited a couple times. I suppose I should join but I just never make the commitment. Partly because the median age is kind of "hi there, dad," but partly because I don't want a community. I like being a little furtive, a little unhealthy, a little freaky. Nothing ruins the illusion of being an outlaw like going to a "spanking enthusiasts social."
Monday, 29 October 2007
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