The symbolic and real anus.

I have, after much soul-searching and butt-searching, come to the conclusion that I don't really like anal sex. I've had a couple positive experiences with it, but on the hole I think it's just not for me.

What complicated this realization is the fact that I'm dealing with two anuses here. The symbolic anus represents passionate, kinky, unconventional sex. Symbolic anal sex is an object of fantasy, associated as it is with humiliation and domination and intensity. And being unwilling to have symbolic anal sex makes me seem uptight, prudish, like I'm bound up by narrow-minded cultural preconceptions about the anus being "icky" or that anal sex is just too sexy for me. It's hard for me to give up on symbolic anal sex, because although I don't want to have buttsex, I want to be the sort of person who has buttsex.

However, in between my buttcheeks there is a real anus. And this one doesn't particularly like stuff in it. It's not painful but it's uncomfortable, and to be brutally honest, mostly just feels like being constipated. This isn't a case of "I can't handle the sheer intensity," it's a case of "it's just not much fun."

I love the idea of being a symbolic butt-slut, but my actual butt just isn't in on the deal.