Super Happy Fun Post: Argument.

Man, I need to get back to writing about sex. Good sex and good relationships are some of life's greatest joys, and that's why I care so much about fighting the evil and sick things that try to take their place. But man, writing about evil and sick wears me down. Next post gonna be about happy wonderful mutual fun.


But I wanted to make one more point on the whole abuse thing, and that's that this is an argument:

"You didn't get any groceries? What the hell are we going to have for dinner?"
"It's not always my job to shop! Why don't you ever shop?"
"You get off at four and I get off at seven and you had three fucking hours to shop!"
"Oh, so now you're swearing at me? I'm not your domestic fucking servant, okay?"
"Well, I'd just like some goddamn dinner when I get home from work!"
"Well, get your own goddamn dinner!"

It's not a productive or healthy argument, but it's an argument.
This is not an argument:

"You didn't get any groceries? What the hell are we going to have for dinner?"
"I'm sorry. I can go shopping now."
"No! It's too goddamn late now! You had three fucking hours to shop!"
"I'm really sorry, honey. I'll fix it right now. Don't yell."
"Don't fucking yell? I'd just like some goddamn dinner when I get home from work!"
"Okay. I'll make you something. Just have a seat and I'll make you something."
"No, don't even try now, you don't give a shit about me and as far as you're concerned I should work all day and then starve."
"Of course not, honey."

The difference is pretty clear, right? Two people turning angry and insulting is a bad situation, but one person working themself up while the other does nothing but placate and apologize is... another thing.

And when I hear that "they were arguing and things got out of hand," I always wonder if it was really an argument at all.