What I want in a bra.

38B. Every store seems to go from 36ABCD to 38CD, and it drives me nuts. 36B will strangle me, 38C will not support my boobs, and 36C is just all kinds of wrong.

A color other than white, black, or "nude." I have white and black already (and black is limited in what shirts it will work under), and "nude" just looks so frumpy to me. I want a bra in a color or pattern that I would wear as a shirt.

Super-mega-maximizing. Push-up, gel pads, basically everything short of stuffing a pair of live rabbits in my shirt. I will have cleavage dammit even if 75% of it is not technically part of my body.

Nipple-concealing. I have big and poky-outy nipples, and while I understand that in some circles this is a selling point, I'd like some control over them.

Kind of... skeezy. You know what I mean? Something that doesn't scream "totally utilitarian, totally acceptable in the locker room" but looks all slutty and sexual.



I'm just frustrated because today I went clothing shopping, and I got a nice dress, a lovely belt, a cute top... and I looked and looked and looked for bras and they were all total failures. Of the very very few that fit, they all had "I don't expect anyone to ever see this" styling. Literally every single one was a Bra Of Shame, in colors and styles I associate with medical devices, touting its utility in "gentle support" or in not being seen or felt. I want a Bra of "check out my fucking tits, people!", and I'm having trouble finding it even online.