Teflon Vagina.

I've had sex with some kinda terrible people. I lost my virginity to a guy who, in retrospect, was a socially useless creep. I fucked a girl who later turned out to be batshit insane and tried to seduce a 17-year-old by telling her "I'm the only one who truly loves and understands you." I fucked Benny.

And I've moved on. I guess I sorta regret being with those people, but, you know, it all made sense at the time and the sex itself wasn't half bad. The scumbags of my history have left me with some lessons, some memories, but they haven't damaged me. At the end of it all, I'm still the owner of my vagina.

A lot of people talk about sex in terms of giving "yourself" rather than just your sex. Sometimes it seems like this is more than just a euphemism. Like "giving myself" to a loser was a major life mistake rather than just a few crappy nights. Sure, I can't take it back--but it's not happening anymore, so it's really not that big a deal.

The virginity thing especially. Yeah, you only get to lose it once, so I guess I blew that, my first sex was with a weirdo, but really I'm much more concerned with who I have my next sex with. The choice to lose it to Kevin "stays with me forever" only in the strictly academic sense that my choice of breakfast on March 8th, 1999 stays with me forever. (Probably Golden Grahams. I was eating a lot of Golden Grahams at that point in my life.)

So becoming neurotic with fear of having sex with the "wrong" person is, to me, way overblown. Obviously it's good to try to sleep only with good people, but if you screw up, just dump them and you'll live. Their antics don't taint you. Use a condom and this isn't a high-stakes game. Fucking someone doesn't need to be a Major Life Decision.

No matter who you "give yourself" to, at the end of it all you're still going to own yourself.