A quiet Sunday afternoon on craigslist.

Looking for crazy on craigslist is like looking for D&D players at a fetish convention. Of all the easy targets, this is the easiest, and I know it. But it's still amusing. (Shout-out to the You Suck at Craigslist person, who does this every day.)

i want a baby - w4m
lookin for a black man only please that want to have a baby right now
I wonder if there's a document you can sign that's the equivalent of a pre-nup but for child support.

And hepatitis treatment.

And the baby's hepatitis treatment.

I want you to frisk me and make it hot.
I don't know if it's an unusual euphemism or if she got really turned on at a traffic stop once and wants to recapture the magic.

Hello,
We're the slut trainers, for lack of a better name.
We consist of five Black men, all well-endowed, all drug and disease-free, and all easy-going, well-mannered people.
Put simply, we're looking for willing women who want to explore themselves and let out their inner freak/slut/whore, or whatever you want to call it.
Basically, we're providing a service, for free. We provide you with a clean, safe environment and the space with which to enjoy and explore yourself, us and the deepest recesses of your sexuality and some perversions you probably wouldn't admit to your closest friends.
This ad went on for about four pages detailing their "service" (they will have sex with you) in great and unsettlingly professional detail. This isn't a bunch of horny guys, this is a serious organization dedicated to bettering humanity. I don't know if I want to fuck them, but I feel like I should at least send a donation.

I'm looking for a woman who loves showing it off in her tight and shiny spandex. Do you have a great ass that deserves to be noticed. Big tits that stretch your Lycra top. Do you love the feel of wearing painted on leggings with cute little hiking boots and a short jacket. The perfect look on a cool fall day. Want to walk around Green lake holding the arm of a tall handsome Daddy.
Please fulfill my fetish for free. My extremely specific fetish. In public, in one of the most heavily foot-trafficked areas of the city.

you--- still got your looks..in need of NSA relations...not in a trailer park or nursing home....
It's good to have standards.

36 year Italian seeks Asian or Younger
Asian, or younger. The logic here is blowing my mind.

'm looking for a BBW who feels like talking dirty and cumming nice and hard over the PHONE with a strange guy ASAP.
If it's on the phone, why do you need a BBW? Can't get enough of that thick curvy, um, voice?

I NEED HEA?????? - m4m
You need what?

I am 22 years old and with very much sexiness all around my sexy figure I want a man who can be my soul mate!
There's very much realness all around this real woman, I can tell.

hey i want to have a baby no strings attached at all if you want to help out email me i am a bbw
This is a different person from the first posting. Well, sperm banks are pretty expensive.

(I wonder if these people realize you don't generally get pregnant from having sex once? Even if you're timing it carefully--and I bet you anything they're not--a one-shot encounter really isn't that likely to produce a baby.)

I can trade or barter for house cleaning, repairs, cleaning, cooking, I am a jack of many trades. Contact me with what you are looking for and like to find like minded woman or CPLs.
So it's like prostitution, except instead of money, I get this guy sweeping my porch? What a... great deal.


There are always a few people on "casual encounters" who didn't get the subtext and post painfully earnest personal ads about how they like dogs and long walks and want to take it slow with someone who has a spiritual side and values family. I always feel bad for those people.