Quickie Cosmocking.

Just got February's issue. Don't have time to do a full multipage mockathon (notable: they put a photo of Heath Ledger wearing ugly clothes in their "Star Style Goofs" section. Ouch.), so I'll just transcribe one quote that really got me.

Men and women gauge kissing differently, says new research. Guys use it as a means to an end--meaning they're hoping to get sex. But women lock lips subconsciously to evaluate a guy's potential from the chemicals in his saliva and as a bonding gesture.

As you know, I only write from my personal experience, so I'll just say that I, personally, use my forked snake-like tongue to probe the pheremones from deep within my victim's oropharynx.

I'm sure my male readers will comment and confirm that they fucking hate kissing girls but they do it anyway to trick them into having sex. With their chemicals. In their saliva.