Belly.

Benny says "I'm really not attracted to fat women... I mean, uh, fat women who tie me up, that's, uh, different... but it's because I'm fat and I hate myse..." and literally stops in mid-word.

And because I am a sap and a sucker and a damn pushover, I put my hands on his belly and tell him (and it's not a lie) that I like it and it makes him look big and strong. He doesn't really believe me and I don't blame him. It's a scene I've been through more than once myself. (Well, usually without managing to insult my partner in the process, but it's Benny.)

No matter what I say, I suspect he's thinking what I always think: A lover who tells me I'm not fat is a liar, a lover who tells me he doesn't care is lowering his standards, and a lover who tells me he likes it is a damn pervert.

It's strange and touching to hear Benny be that honest. It also hurts every which way.