Normal?

My social circle these days is pretty much all perverts. I got to Boston and I met people three ways: through the blog (perverts), through munches and other BDSM activities (perverts), and through the friends I already had here (disgusting, dangerous perverts). If I didn't have to work I think I would have forgotten what normal even looks like.

In fact, in some senses I don't know what normal is like. Like hair-pulling. Do normal people pull hair during sex? I have no idea. I think of hair-pulling as a mildly kinky thing, but then I hear that apparently it's not weird at all to some people? And there's that bumper sticker, "If you're going to ride my ass, at least pull my hair." If it's a bumper sticker that means it must be normal, right?

Or, conversely, scritching. Casually scratching someone on the scalp or behind the ear doesn't seem like a particularly perverted thing to do, but I've only ever seen perverts do it. Does it have to do with the "pet" connotations? Is it just a subcultural thing? Or is it my hallucination and normal people scritch too?

Of course the "right" answer is that there is no normal and people who like BDSM and people who don't all touch in a variety of ways according to their own habits and desires. But still, normal people sometimes seem very concerned with what is normal, so I figure they have standards. And I'm drifting farther and farther from being able to remember what those standards are.

All I know is that if I have to sit through another conversation at work on the topic of "my husband and I are never in bed together and that's awesome because gosh it's such a pain having to deal with those icky things he wants", I'm going to explode and tell them everything.

(I already did let slip that I own a vibrator--they were judging just a little too harshly on a patient who had one in their pocket--and everyone was like "OOOH SO INTRIGUING HOLLY IS A WILD GIRL WHOAAAA." There goes any hope of talking about what I did this very evening, let alone on weekends.)