Robot Girlfriend!

Look at the picture. Just look at it.

So this is ROXXXY, the supposed robot girlfriend. I have to say, if looks are an issue for you... ROXXXY may be an issue. I can bitch about beauty standards all day long but any guy who could look into that scary plastic horse face and keep a boner has absolutely no business picking nits with any living woman.

One creepy detail the article doesn't mention and I did not make up: the creator modeled ROXXXY after a friend who died in the World Trade Center on 9/11. Wow. Wow. ....Wow. To everyone who reads this blog: if I am horribly murdered, please do not sell me or anything that looks like me for people to have sex with. Thank you.

"She can't vacuum, she can't cook but she can do almost anything else if you know what I mean,"
Oh, so she can go hiking with me? She can discuss the news with me and agree to disagree about Obama? She can help me move a couch? She can teach me how to make proper onion soup? She can trade backrubs?

I don't talk about my dildo saying "he can't change oil, he can't grill a steak but he can do almost anything else if you know what I mean," because he (ew, it, c'mon) can do one thing. Not badly, but let's not kid around. A "girlfriend" is a multifunctional person, and by that I don't mean anal and oral.

The anatomically-correct robot has an articulated skeleton that can move like a person but can't walk or independently move its limbs
So... not much like a person at all, really.

Robotic movement is built into "the three inputs" and a mechanical heart that powers a liquid cooling system.
By "robotic movement," I have a suspicion they mean "vibration." DECADES OF DEVELOPMENT.

And why the hell does it need a liquid cooling system if it doesn't move? I guess the market was just demanding a simulated sex partner who was really cold.



What do I really make of this thing?

Ample video exists of the guy talking about ROXXXY while she sits there completely dead, but there's none of her actually moving or talking. (Although SomethingAwful produced an excellent [and ridiculously offensive] educated guess about her various personalities.)

I think this is the doomed project of a guy who is creepy, yes, but more importantly he's way overambitious in his showing of an obviously unfinished product. Somehow that's even sadder to me than the whole "robot girlfriend" aspect--the fact that this guy clearly doesn't really know how to make his robot girlfriend, so all that he's showing the world is that he has a mostly unrealized dream of a robot girlfriend.

It's the same awkward feeling as reading someone's terrible unpublished novel, except in this case the novel is about their robot girlfriend with three motorized inputs.