Complicated.

Everyone's still talking G-spot. They're talking about it like some poorly-designed self-reported twin study makes the G-spot retroactively have never existed, and they're talking about it with fantastic headlines you could never ever get away with in America.

And one of the sentiments that seems to be coming up on both sides of this "debate" (sorry to scare-quote, but it's weird to think of a serious debate over something I've personally experienced ...today) is a very old, very stealth-sexist one. "Female sexuality is complicated!"

Sexuality is complicated, no question. The culture and subculture and politics and emotions and biology and poetry of sex could set your head spinning. And humans are complicated, like super ultra mega complicated. And life is complicated.

But men are not simple. Male sexuality, trust me here and read back in the archives, is not simple. Men come with the full suite of hangups and fetishes and dysfunctions and quirks and mysteries . Male sexuality is not reducible to "touch him on the penis" in any meaningful way. And ladies aren't that complicated. Individual, certainly, but once you figure out a particular woman's buttons it's not rocket science to push them in an escalating sequence until happy happens. All else being in order (yeah, good luck with that), you can basically just touch them on the vagina.

So maybe I'm biased here by the whole thing where an evil wizard cursed me to be a human soul in the body of a woman, but I see a lot of sexism in the "vaginas are complicated mysteries!" thing. It assumes the perspective of a heterosexual man looking at women from the outside. It assumes that women are incapable of perceiving and communicating clearly about their own sexuality. It assumes that women are something to be "figured out," as if some intrepid man could discover the Solution To Women and retire happy with 3 billion girlfriends. It tells women with sexual dysfunction that they don't have a real problem, they're just being complicated. It reinforces the idea that women don't really like sex that much. It lets guys who've mastered "touch her on the vagina" self-congratulate like they've solved the fucking Unified Field Theorem. And it gives guys who have crappy selfish sex a great excuse--hey, I'd like to please her, but she's so damn complicated!

I'm not some exotic puzzle box. I'm a horny but conflicted human being. So's everyone.