Oh Boi.

I'm not generally all that attracted to women. I mean, I know a sexy woman when I see one, and I certainly wouldn't mind having sex with a woman, but I don't really go for women as strongly as men, I'm a lot pickier and don't have quite the visceral reaction and the obsessions that I get with men.

(Complete digression: have you noticed how sometimes "sexy woman" really means "sexy packaging?" I was watching a movie with generic sexy-girls-as-backdrop, and I really looked at them, and no insult, but they were ordinary women. They were young and thin of course, but otherwise basically like anyone you'd see on the street. They were just ordinary women with ridiculous makeup and ridiculously skimpy little dresses, which work so well as visual shorthand for "sexy" that their actual faces and bodies barely read.)

The exception is butch lesbians and drag kings. Oh. My. God. A handsome woman with a boyish haircut and well-fit men's clothes can make me into a stammering, melting wreck in a way that not that many men can do. (Sometimes it's so bad that I worry that it comes off as homophobia. I need a card to hand out that says "Don't worry, I'm only being awkward because you're so hot.")

(Second digression: man, it's freakin' impossible to find flattering photos of manly women online. Am I the only person on earth with this attraction? There aren't any straight guys out there with a fetish for them? Millions of pictures of women popping balloons or stepping on gas pedals or whatever the fuck, and no one on Earth but me likes a lady in flannel?)

This probably makes me fundamentally straight. I'm just attracted to masculinity regardless of the gender underneath, and in a way, deliberately-masculine women do it far better than most men who just coast on their chromosomes. Whether through ironic flamboyance or just thinking it through more than a biological male has to, masculine women often seem hyper-masculine. In the best way.

And this may also have something to do with what I talked about in this post: what we call masculine often has less to do with being male than with being awesome. I like women who are awesome. Can you blame me?



Man, there's not much of a slot in the gender spectrum for being butch, female, and straight. Maybe in San Francisco? If it were a viable, non-social-life-killing option I'd take it. I used to be a lot manlier, used to have super-short hair and dress like a dude, and it just didn't work out. I loved how it felt, but people's reactions sucked: strangers would be jerks about it and guys told me they really weren't attracted. Now that I've got long lovely red hair and wear skirts and push-up bras and shit, life is better. I still love my flannel and my steel-toe boots and my power tools, but I don't have the patience or drive (or the she'd-be-hot-in-anything bone structure) to swim against the current on this. Part of attracting boys is wearing the "I'm attracted to boys" uniform, and, well, I know it's weak but I'd rather have the boys than be a Gender Revolutionary.