Obsession.

Being with Cute Coworker is making me insane with stifled lust, but I don't want to ask for a reassignment or even ask him to tone it down because it's also making me love my job. Rrrrrgh.

He likes me back. He's gotta. I think. I'm doing a very high-schoolish covert analysis of behavior patterns here.



-Has outright said that he likes me as a coworker. So that's nice for starters.

-Constantly, constantly talking about sex. Is this "hey, it's more interesting than talking about bacterial cultures" talking about sex, or is it sexy talking about sex? I can't tell. But the boy--and he's not the expansively lecherous type, if anything he's a little shy and it took weeks for him to stop prefixing every dirty joke with with "don't sue me for sexual harassment, ha ha, but..."--just manages to turn every conversation back to penises and vaginas.

-Touches me more than is strictly necessary. Not sexy touches, just hands and wrists, very safe, but still, way more than any other coworkers do.

-Has made it quite clear that he's single, straight, and open to kinky premarital sex. No "with you" appended of course, but I notice that I didn't have to pry to find these things out.

-Has more than once remarked of female celebrities "I don't like her, she's too skinny," which in my experience is sometimes an offhand remark and sometimes a "now you, you've got curves" mating call.

-Wouldn't go around being so goddamn attractive if he didn't mean something by it, by God.



Rrrrgh. I'm so shy with people I actually like. I'll jump on strangers, but when I get all invested and I have something to lose, I freeze like a bunny. And I can't tell if he's also freezing like a bunny (he's definitely the type who would) or if he's actually just uninterested and happens to have a potty mouth.

The problem is that right now I'm 50% happy with the idea that I might get to fuck him. If I made an unambiguous advance, the waveform would collapse and I'd be either 100% or 0% happy. I just can't bring myself to risk that zero.