Know your BDSMers.

I just can't stop being intolerant! It's funny too, because I had a really nice day today--I spent most of the day on a long beautiful drive through the mountains with some of the first really good weather of the year--and then I come home and get on the computer and sound like I'm some massive grouchypuss when in fact I'm feeling quite pleasant.

Anyway...

Know Your BDSMers.
1: Happy Sparkle Fairy Girl. "Oh my GODDESS I love being hitted it's like ZOMG the BESTEST! HUGS! Oh wows there are new people here! HUGS FOR THEM TOO!"

2: Very New Master. "So, uh, do you want to, uh, do some stuff if that's, uh, okay... we'll do whatever you're into, I don't really have any ideas of my own."

3: Very Old Master. "Yeah, I've been doing nipple suspensions and quadruple bullwhippings for twenty years now, I don't have any time for kids, move along now."

4: Extremely Upfront Woman. "Nice to meet you, so tell me, what are you into sexually? I like cunnilingus--giving and receiving both, heh--having my nipples stimulated, and paddling when I play with my husband or either of my poly girlfriends. Oh, I know you didn't ask, I'm just being open with my sexuality."

5: Kilt Man. [Walks around, wearing kilt.]

6: The Persecuted Minority. "Does anyone know where to find a kink-friendly pizza delivery service? I just can't stand the thought of some vanilla pizza guy accidentally glimpsing a piece of rope in my house and reporting me to the Republicans!"

7: The Body Confident. "Ooh, look at those curves! That's what a real woman looks like, so beautiful and natural and bountiful, not like all those FUCKING SKINNY BITCHES WHO ARE ALL ANOREXIC WHORES FUCK THEM."

8: The Living Self-Help Book. "Excuse me, but I'd like to respectfully dialogue with you about how you're intersecting my self-actualization in the way you relate to my space as a sexual and spiritual being."

9: I Work At Microsoft. "Up until recently I used VS 6 quite a bit and found the code wizard quite handy; I have a number of Form Views in my application and I've been able to access the Events, Overrides, and Messages from the Properties window when I'm in the .h file for the Form. But I just created a CDialog derived class for a pop up window, and when I go to the .h the property page gives me no options." [three inches away from a bound woman being fisted]

10: The Filthy, Filthy Liar. "My wife isn't kinky, but she's given me her full permission to come here to seek outlets for those desires she's not comfortable with. She's very understanding."


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Additional Twisty Faster mocking, because it's too soon to do another line-by-line takedown but ooh I wish I could:

Don't make fun of the lady having fourteen kids, because EVERY mother is just as stupid and patriarchy-enslaved! That sure is an... original angle.

You'd think a feminist would at least like women, really...