Jerkin' Beatin' Whackin'.

It seems like there's no sexual activity that gets less respect in our culture than male masturbation. Partner sex is of course the Ultimate Goal Of Life, female masturbation is sexy or empowering, but a man wanking is funny, sad, or predatory. I dare you--seriously it would be cool if you could but I doubt it--to find a piece of mainstream American media where male masturbation is presented as sexy.

Or even just okay. A thing people do. Come home from work, fix some dinner, watch TV, brush teeth, jerk off, go to sleep. Good for the prostate, relaxes your muscles, helps you sleep. And--not to make it sound like a health exercise here--it's fucking sexy.

Every man I've slept with more than once has jerked off in front of me. I love to watch. I also love to help, but at least once I want to see how he does it himself. (Circumcised and uncircumcised guys have quite different techniques.) Just once I want to not even touch him and see the squeezed-shut eyes and the way he knows his own rhythm and watch him cover his own hand and belly with come.

(Or, once with Jon, his face. Boy's got some range.)

I suppose the supposed unsexiness of male masturbation is because cultural consumers are assumed to be either straight men or lustless women--the same reason there are fifty bikini-clad women for every attractive man on a newsstand display. When the male body isn't sexualized, a man being sexual by himself isn't sexy, he's just missing a woman.

Men are beautiful and hot when they jerk off, and I hate to see them shamed for it.