Toys.

I own far too many sex toys.

• A really cheap little flogger. It's stingy as hell because the tails are too small, and I'd really like a bigger one, but... it does the trick. It's meant to hurt, right? It certainly does that.

• A generic cylindrical vibrator that I don't use much. It's too skinny to be fun in my pussy, no base so I'm scared to put it in my butt, and awkwardly shaped to use on my clit.

• A bullet vibe. This is the go-to toy for a quick simple orgasm, the "no fancy crap, I just want to get to sleep" vibrator. Goes nicely on my clit and gets me off in less than five minutes. Unexciting, reliable.

• A... thingy. It's this(NWS) ugly sonofabitch, whatever the heck that is. Anyway, it's fucking amazing. It's thick and it pushes on my g-spot hard and one time Jon tied it into me and left it in for like a half hour on full blast.

• Two buttplugs. One's small and real easy but only sorta fun; one's way too damn big and takes a five-minute slightly painful project to get in but hoooly shit when it's in. I've never had the self-control to have it in and not masturbate to orgasm instantly. It feels great when I do though. I can feel my ass pulsing when I come.

(That buttplug is how I learned my orgasms were real. For the longest time I thought that my orgasms were too quick, too easy--no girl gets off in two minutes from just barely being touched, so I must just be mistaking something else for orgasm and giving up before the real good stuff. But the feeling of my ass involuntarily spasming around a buttplug is unmistakable. I really do come that much, that easily. Fucking awesome.)

• Rope. Two hundred feet, in two different thicknesses, every inch of it soft and shiny and strong and filled with endless possibilities. Everything above on this list gets me off; rope gets me on. Sex toys are arousing and all that, but only rope is fascinating. It's a skill I'm still learning, it's a way to cause pain and pleasure, it's a way to hold someone's entire body the way I want it without me lifting a finger. It's sexy to tie, it's sexy to be tied in, it's sexy just to have around. It's... I think it's safe to call it a fetish, yeah.