The results are in!

Remember The Great Female Survey from a few posts back? Well, they've collected their data, such as it is, and the results are...

Pretty reasonable, actually.

In most cases the plurality of the answers went to the least evil option. (Which frequently was "none of the above," because who would have expected women to be not-evil?)

Although I was sad to hear that women become sluts at 20 partners (which, credit where credit's due, was at least the same as the point for a man becoming a "man-whore"). Because... well... I lost track somewhere in the teens. I had this list, and it went up to thirteen, and then the computer I had it on died, and I know I've had sex with a bunch of people since then... what I'm trying to say is I don't know if I'm officially a slut or not.

Also, it's hardly a fair survey of women in general--only 10% of respondents said they had children. So taking these data and saying things like "62% of women have 10 or more pairs of shoes!" is going to be every kind of wrong. It's more like 62% of a horrible hodgepodge of Cosmo readers, trolls, outraged feminists, and people who are "random" visitors but not in the scientific sense.

Now let's see how the men fared.

It's interesting just to look at the parallels between the questions asked.
Women's Version:
DO YOU BELIEVE IN MARRIAGE?
Yes, definitely!
Yes, but it is not for me.
No, I don't believe in marriage.

Men's Version:
DO YOU BELIEVE IN THE INSTITUTION OF MARRIAGE?
Yes, I believe it is a necessary institution and one in which I will participate to help preserve.
Yes, I believe in it as an institution, but it is not for me.
No, I do not believe in it.

That's right; the men got bigger words.

33% of the women report being single. 46% of the men do. Polyamory isn't that popular and the survey pretty effectively excludes gay people, so this is yet another reason to roll your eyes any time the results here are trotted out as "40% of men think a woman starts losing her looks at 40!" Not to mention the fact that only three percent of the men report having children. Really, I can't stress enough how things like this make the survey entirely meaningless. I'm not even going to talk about the results--only the questions--because the methods here are as sensible as me doing a headcount in my house and determining that Boston is 100% white, 100% employed, 66% male, and 33% people who replace the toilet paper roll when they finish it.

Although it's worth noting that as with the women, the plurality of men chose the most decent-human answers despite being transparently baited to do otherwise. In the face of "WOULD YOU DUMP A GIRLFRIEND IF SHE BECAME FAT?" and "HAVE YOU EVER READ YOUR PARTNER'S FACEBOOK MESSAGES, EMAIL OR OTHER ELECTRONIC CORRESPONDENCE?", most men in the survey answered "no."

The men are asked how many partners makes a woman a "slut," (10) but not how many makes a man a "man-whore."

Men's Version:
OF THE CHOICES LISTED BELOW, WHAT IS THE ULTIMATE MALE STATUS SYMBOL?
A family.
A high-profile career.
A beautiful wife or girlfriend.
A beautiful house.
A beautiful car.
A membership to an exclusive club (like a country club).

Women's Version:
FOR WOMEN, WHICH OF THE FOLLOWING IS THE ULTIMATE STATUS SYMBOL?
A beautiful house
A very successful husband or boyfriend
A beautiful wardrobe
A huge engagement ring
An expensive car

I'll spot them the engagement ring and country club as being gendered things, but what the fuck is up with women not getting the option to take pride in their family or their career? And of course the husband is "successful" but the wife is "beautiful." I... shit. I gotta write a whole post on this one.

The men get questions like "HOW SHOULD AMERICA REBOOT THE ECONOMY?" and "DO YOU FEEL YOUR COUNTRY IS PREPARED IN THE CASE OF A NATURAL DISASTER SIMILAR TO THE EARTHQUAKES / TSUNAMIS THAT RECENTLY HIT JAPAN?" The women do not.

Men's-only question:
WHO SHOULD HAVE BEEN CUT SOME SLACK BY THE MEDIA FOR HIS SEXUAL TRANSGRESSIONS?
None of the above. They all got what they deserved.
Anthony Weiner.
Arnold Schwarzenegger.
Dominique Strauss-Kahn.
John Edwards.

One of these things is not like the other things, one of these things is not the same... because one of these things is being accused of rape. I'm really frustrated by the way sexual assaults by famous people get positioned as "sex scandals" instead of "crime scandals." Violent felonies don't belong in the same "oh, boys" category as accidentally Tweeting your junk.

Last question on the men's survey:
HAS OBAMA CHANGED THE INTERNATIONAL PERCEPTION OF THE UNITED STATES?

Last question on the women's:
AT WHAT AGE DO YOU WANT TO START A FAMILY?