Transphilia.

I feel tremendously attracted to transgendered guys. It's an embarrassingly inordinate lust; obviously I'm not attracted to every trans guy, but it's worth a lot of bonus points on the Holly's-Vagina-O-Meter. I've never actually dated a trans guy (partly because being too immediately attracted to someone tends to give me a brain short and makes me all shy and "aw I'm not worthy"), and only ever played with one once, I just... get the wibblies.

But then the Gender Studies part of my brain kicks in and I feel bad, because aren't I fetishizing and exoticizing someone's identity here? I'm like those creepy white dudes who are way too into Asian women! I shouldn't feel any differently--sexually or otherwise--about trans men than I do about men in general, unless I'm internalizing something weird.

Then again, I'm attracted to queerness in a lot of its forms. (See also: bisexual men. Also see also: butch women. Also also see also: drag in either direction.) I don't consider that a horrible evil on my part. I think it's a good thing to violate, mock, pick and choose from, fuck around with, or redefine for yourself any gender norms that get in your way. And by "a good thing" I also mean "pretty goddamn sexy."

Obviously it's not healthy or respectful to just think that "trans = hot." But I'm willing to live with myself thinking that "trans + hot = a little extra hot, yeah."




(Latin and Greek roots mixed, I know, I know. I suck. It started when I accepted "polyamory" and just got worse from there.)