Oogyboogykajoogyism.

I have a declaration to make. After being told by oh so many people what a feminist says, does, feels, looks like, believes, votes for, buys, boycotts, dates, fucks, and generally is, I have come to realize I am not a feminist. I am actually a follower of a hitherto unknown gender philosophy. As founder of this unknown philosophy, I claim the right of naming it, and I now identify as a follower of Oogyboogykajoogyism.

The fundamental tenet of Oogyboogykajoogyism is that all genders and sexualities deserve equal human rights. As an Oogyboogykajoogyist, I believe in equal opportunity in the workforce, in fairly shared childrearing and household duties, and in freedom of gender and sexual expression. Oogyboogykajoogyism is dedicated to fighting sexual violence and all forms of physical and emotional abuse, and is opposed to the degradation of any gender or sexuality in the public discourse.

Oogyboogykajoogyism also kinda has a thing about Cosmopolitan magazine.

And that's it. There's no other baggage. No one to tell me "oh, but you're not a real Oogyboogykajoogyist if you don't do this" or "since you're an Oogyboogykajoogist, I assume you do that." No one to backhand-compliment me that I'm sure not your typical Oogyboogykajoogyist. No one to tell me that I'm a bad Oogyboogykajoogyist and I'm doing it wrong. No one to write me off because I'm just another angry Oogyboogykajoogyist. As a totally novel philosophy, it has to be taken on its own terms.

I hope you will follow me through the exciting process of transforming this into an Oogyboogykajoogyist blog. I expect great things.



Come to think of it, while I'm at it, I'd like to redefine my gender as an oogyboogykajoogman. That should help even more.

(An oogyboogykajoogman has a female body, but only some of the other traits of a woman. Therefore, when one of them looks or behaves in an unfeminine way, they are not an imperfect woman, but a perfect oogyboogykajoogman.)