Switching.

Benny and I switch. He's probably a little better at topping than me, and I'm a bit more comfortable bottoming. We're really both switches though. It's nice in a way because neither of us can take the Lord God King Master bullshit out of the bedroom and neither of us is in a position to embarass the other without being reminded of how goofy they looked with the panties in their mouth and the flogger handle up their ass.

(Man, do I hate it when I'm with a guy a while after sex and we're all dressed and eating dinner or watching TV or whatnot and he suddenly busts out with "hee hee hee, remember when you said you wanted to be my 'filthy cockslave'?" God dammit dude, you sure weren't laughing at the time, so shut your piehole dammit. Although I do admit that kind of thing can be a little titillating. A little.)

This is probably obvious to anyone who's into BDSM, but Jon and I agree that the person being submissive is the lucky one. Not that topping isn't sexyfun, but it's hard work and it can make you feel very insecure. "I'll do anything you command, mistress!" "Um... I order you to... um..." Bottoming is cake. To bottom is to be sexually serviced.

Even when his cock is in my mouth. Because, really, sucking cock isn't difficult. Being sure that I'm doing it when he wants and the way he wants is the hard part. Doing it under orders or force sure takes care of that. Unless your top is very demanding, plays weirder games than we're into, or into physically insane things, it's almost impossible to be an inadequate submissive.

As a frequently inadequate student, daughter, friend, employee, sister, and human being, I appreciate that certainty.