The Two Boyfriends Problem.

So I have a little problem in my life right now. Two men. I'm sleeping with them both and neither knows.

Alan is:
Good-looking, affectionate, funny, talented, interesting, and emotionally open.

Benny is:
Frankly none of the above. But...

Benny is:
Willing to tie my wrists to my ankles, flip me ass-up, spank me red, and shove four fingers in my most special secret ladyplaces.

Rationally, I should dump Benny. It's not like Alan doesn't give me pleasure. Hell, he even gives me kink, albeit in small and achingly tentative ways. Alan's a good guy and perilously close to being my boyfriend, dammit, and I shouldn't be running out on that just because he's not good with a flogger. Alan has given me seven orgasms in an evening, for Christ's sake, how the hell can that be leaving me unfullfilled?

I don't have a great answer here. Just that I need my kink. I know you're supposed to be a lot older and further around the block before you get this jaded, but getting fucked without pain, submission, or restraint is just unsatisfying to me. I mean, it's great, I'd take it over gardening or tax preparation any day, but it's not what I need.

What I really need is to dump both guys and find an interesting, cute, affectionate Dom. And while I'm at it, a pony. A rainbow pony.