I'm overjoyed about the legalization of same-sex marriage in New York, and somewhat overeager about what it might mean for the rest of the country.
Which is weird, because I'm dating a man and not planning to get married. I am the opposite of someone who should care about this. I can't claim "well, I just love justice," because although I'd hope I'm not anti-justice, I don't follow other forms of justice all that closely. Sexual justice does matter more to me.
The funny thing is, I didn't start a sex blog because I cared about sexual justice. I started The Pervocracy, honestly, just because I had a general LiveJournal (now long since abandoned) and my friends told me they were uncomfortable with me posting about my sex life. Since I have a congenital inability to think something and not say it, I started a blog just to talk about my sex life. The first posts are all "I gave my boyfriend a blowjob today" and "my crotch: let me tell you about it." My first post on feminism wasn't til I had been blogging for four months. Funny thing is, I started caring about sexual justice because I had a sex blog.
Back when I had an OkCupid account, my hardest of hard limits was anyone who said they disapproved of homosexuality. There were other opinions that might make me realize we had irreconcilable political differences, but that was the only one that just made me angry. Because how dare someone think that he had the right to pursue the relationship he wanted, and have no empathy for other people who wanted the same thing. Being celibate and opposed to others' relationships would still be bitter and nasty, but at least it would be consistent!
So the more love and joy I got out of heterosexual relationships, the more I resolved myself to value all relationships. The more freedom I felt in expressing my (rather conflicted and inconsistent) gender, the more I wanted everyone to be able to do the same. The more I came to accept my own body, the less I could tolerate shaming anyone's body. The more I came to appreciate just how good sex can be, the angrier I got when sex was cheapened into a commodity or perverted into a weapon.
I think everyone should care about sexual justice, of course. But in the course of writing this blog, I've realized that if you care about sex, you have to care about sexual justice. It's my belief that if you enjoy wonderful, joyful, mutually enthusiastic sex, the kind where you end it just grinning at each other and feeling perfectly fit against each other's skins--you have the obligation to defend that kind of joy in the world.
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