Wednesday, 1 April 2009

I woke up at about three this morning with the kind of sexual appetite I haven't had in a good ten months. I was just lying in bed and my mind started racing through every good fuck I'd ever had. I put my hands up to the headboard and I was holding on to it on to it for leverage and dear life with my feet on a man's shoulders. I rolled over and I was riding a man and feeling him thrust up at me with my hands pinning his wrists above his head. Another man, behind me, rocking me forward with the force of his thrusts. They were all memories and they were all so real the feelings shot through me like electricity.

I masturbated of course, and it wasn't like normal. My hips were rolling with it and I had my teeth clenched, willing myself not to scream out loud. When I came it seemed to last for minutes, an orgasm that went on and on as I writhed helpless in its grasp. Afterwards my whole skin was so flushed and sensitive that the mere touch of sheets on my skin was druglike ecstasy. The feelings took hours to fade and I didn't fall back asleep until dawn. Even now I imagine a strange hyper-real quality to the world, my sense of touch amplified and weird little twinges of pleasure coming from the most mundane actions.



The really funny thing is that the feeling I'm getting from all this is not "whoa, this is kinda crazy," but "oh thank God, I'm returning to normal." My sexuality over the last year has been kind of weirdly muted and reluctant, trying to be slutty and kinky not because I must but because I sorta figure I should, and I think this is what it used to feel like to be me.

I'm going out on a slightly silly Internet Self Diagnosis limb now, but I blame my weight. I've gone up and down a couple times in the past and I know that when I get really fat I don't menstruate. This has been the case for about ten months. (No, I'm not pregnant.) Now, while hardly thin, I'm shopping in the L section rather than the XL again and I wonder if it's changed my hormones somehow. I would bet money that I'm going to get my period within about fourteen days.



Whatever the cause, I love being horny. I hope I stay this way forever.

0 comments:

Post a Comment

 
Toggle Footer