Find out what it means to me.

Saturday night I played with a guy who, while incredibly cute and fun, was way too respectful. This is a ridiculous thing to criticize when you're engaging in violent sex acts with strangers (gosh, it sounds terrible when I put it like that!), but it reached awkward proportions.

"Is it okay if I touch your back? I don't wanna make any assumptions here. Alright, is it okay if I touch the back of your arms? If that's a limit I understand."

I felt like such a ho that my answer was constantly "yes." Wait... am I not supposed to want my back touched? Did he expect me to say no? Is that some people's limit? Do they have a good reason for that?

I suppose this attitude is infinitely preferable to making assumptions about what you can do with a stranger's body. Far, far be it from me to think anything like "a Dominant doesn't need to ask permission." And yet. There's gotta be a better way.

If it were me, I think I'd start out with "can I fuck you in the ass?" and work backwards. That avoids the ho-feeling and shows self-confidence. Much more polite.